Dating Tip: Don't Delay Happiness

Fellas,

Sorry about the lateness of this post. Laird had tasked me with posting this earlier and I had written it up, but didn't publish it because I wanted to proofread it one more time. And here it languished for several weeks, so I'm just going to post it now. It's just as relevant as it was several weeks ago.

Dating is a tricky thing sometimes. It's easy to get caught up in, and tough to deal with when met with rejection. I certainly went through a long period of my life where it seemed I couldn't do anything right when it came to dating.

The biggest mistake I was making had nothing to do with my dating tactics. Sure, I definitely could have used a few tips to improve matters, and looking back, I was not always the most graceful in the dating scene. But the problem wasn't how I behaved when I was dating - it's how I behaved when I wasn't.

It's a very good thing to go on dates. You will get to know people, have fun, and maybe even try a few things you've never tried before. It could even lead to a meaningful relationship. But it's not as simple as just picking a girl, asking her out, and frolicking through the flowers together in a state of twitterpated bliss. Remember that the girl you like also has to choose you (and just trying harder isn't going to make a girl fall for you - to suggest that it will implies that the girl doesn't have a choice in the matter).

So, what happens when you invest all of your happiness into dating, and it doesn't work out? Where does that leave you? Frequently, it leaves you totally demotivated in all areas of life - not limited to dating. So the most important advice I think I can give is to not let your happiness be limited to your dating life alone.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you don't date. Far from it! What I'm saying is that by investing your happiness across all areas in life, you will be a happier person, and when you're a happier person, everything in life becomes better.

Now there are many things in life that will grant us temporary pleasure. Do not confuse this with happiness. True happiness comes from having the spirit of the Lord in our lives, and we can have that by following His commandments (Mosiah 2:41). We can also also attain happiness from setting goals, making meaningful accomplishments, and pursuing our dreams. But all too often we let distractions get in our way and take precedence. The funny thing is, when you look back, these distractions seem trivial and worthless. I don't know anybody who regrets that they didn't watch enough TV or play enough World of Warcraft, but I know plenty of people who regret not working hard enough to get a good education, a meaningful job, go to the temple regularly, or accomplish that life goal they always wanted to do.

So, that's my advice to you. Be happy. Set goals. Become the best person you can be. It really can be anything, whether you want to start learning about your genealogy, visit a part of the world you've always dreamed of seeing, reconnect with old friends or distant family members...I can go on and on, but you know what will make yourself happy more than I!

Don't delay your happiness because you feel you need to be dating. If you are actively pursuing happiness, not only will you be a better person, but it just might make your dating life a little easier.