Armadillos

Gentlemen,

Here are some interesting facts about the armadillo mean to uplift the heart and educate the mind, for not nearly enough is known about the armadillo:

1. Armadillo means “little armored one” in Spanish, which is fitting because of their dense leathery shells, which provide them a natural defense.

2. They are native to the Americas, and have been consistently expanding their range as they have no natural predators because of their armor (see fact 1).

3. Armadillos have unusually large eyes, but surprising poor eye sight.

4. Armadillos tend to jump straight in the air when surprised, which, because of their poor eye sight (see fact 3.), happens quite frequently. Consequently, they often collided with the undercarriage or fenders of passing vehicles, negating their armor (see fact 1.) and their lack of natural predators (see fact 2.). This is unfortunate, because if they didn’t jump, cars would pass over them, leaving them unharmed.

5. Armadillos typically give birth to 4 monozygotic (genetically identical) offspring, which means that if you happen to run one over (see fact 4.) you need to feel too guilty because there are three more of the same running around. (If you hit 4, you should feel a little bad).

6. Armadillos can hold their breaths for up to six minutes, and because of the density of its armor (see fact 1), an armadillo will sink in water allowing them to walk along the bottom of steam and rivers. However, when the distance is too far, an armadillo will inflate its stomach and intestines with air, which often doubles its size and allows it to paddle across bodies of water.

May the force be with you,

Christopher